The topic of submission has been popping up alot lately.
For some reason, I feel like Daniel has been telling me what to do a lot lately. I don't think its true, or at least not anymore than normal. I think I've just been taking it a lot harder. For instance, this morning Daniel asked me to put all our laundry away and to bring some cups of water downstairs. Mind you, this is after he basically cleaned our whole apartment the day before.
My reaction? "Stop treating me like a child!"...pretty selfish huh? I felt quite stupid when I thought about it. Especially after he asked me if I really wanted to be a submissive wife.
And tonight, for date night, we went Salsa dancing. Neither of us is a particularly good dancer. We can do the basic steps but our spins are quite ackward. And even though Daniel led, he never really stepped up to the challenge and took control.
I wanted him to spin me quickly, and make me feel dizzy. I wanted him to change things up alot, and do all the steps the woman just taught us. I wanted him to swing me around like all the professionals were doing with the women around me. I wanted....are you noticing a pattern? Everything is about me and what I want. Yes, I wanted Daniel to take the lead, but I wanted him to lead me the way I wanted to go. I wasn't willing to submit to his ideas and desires. And that's not real submission at all.
It's easy to be submissive when things are going smoothly, and we both want the same things. But what happens when opinions differ? That's when submission is the most important for the unity of the relationship. I haven't yet learned to overcome my selfishness at those times.
But I'm working on it...until then, thank you Daniel for being gracious with me!
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